Existencial Issues
by Hopelessly Entangled
Summary: Marik muses about things in the middle of the night.  I feel like Marik would have similar depression to me, so I wrote it from his perspective as I was unhappy today.   Oneshot.  R&R, please enjoy...


A/N:If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, Marik and Bakura would be in every episode. Yes. Yes they would. So I'm afraid I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Sadly. Enjoy your crappy thiefshipping.

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><p>Things usually start the same way.<br>With a question.  
><em>Do I exist?<em>  
><em><strong>Couldn't say.<strong>_  
><em>I don't think so.<em>  
><em><strong>Why would you say that?<strong>_  
><em>Not in a way that matters, anyway.<em>  
>There's something wrong with me.<br>Maybe I'm sick.  
>Maybe I finally cracked.<br>But it's something.  
>I'm not here.<br>You're not here.  
>This world doesn't exist.<br>Not in a way that matters, anyway.  
>I'm not really in this place, am I?<br>I don't feel like I am.  
><em><strong>Well, of course not.<strong>_  
><em>What?<em>  
><em><strong>Nothing matters in the end, to anyone other than oneself.<strong>_  
><em>You matter.<em>  
><em><strong>To me.<strong>_  
><em>To me.<em>  
><em><strong>What?<strong>_  
><em>Shut up.<em>  
>I'm broken, I know.<br>Broken, exploitable.  
>Unimportant.<br>I don't feel like I'm here.  
>Not in my body.<br>Not laying next to you.  
><em><strong>Whatever. Some things matter, but no one person does.<strong>_  
><em>I'm serious. You do.<em>  
><em><strong>Why?<strong>_  
>I'm just a child.<br>Somehow.  
>Despite everything I've done, I'm just a child.<br>A broken, stupid child who knows nothing of the world.  
>You?<br>You're broken, yes.  
>Beautiful.<br>Grown up.  
>Not a child.<br>You exist in a way that matters.  
><em>You matter. That's all I'm saying.<em>  
><em><strong>Now I'm curious. What brought this on?<strong>_  
>I don't really know how to answer that. Did I freeze up? Did I shudder?<br>You shift.  
>I answer.<br>_Nothing really._  
>I wave my hand.<br>_**Hn.**_  
>I sigh.<br>Now I'm sure I'm sick.  
>I don't feel like a person anymore.<br>Maybe I never was.  
>Maybe I'm not.<br>I don't think that I deserve that title.  
>Person.<br>You're quiet for a while.  
><em><strong>Kul Elkna mattered.<strong>_  
><em>Revenge matters.<em>  
><em><strong>The pharaoh mattered.<strong>_  
><em>Past tense?<em>  
><em><strong>Worthless pursuit really. He's so...<strong>_  
><em>Don't finish that sentence.<em>  
>I laugh - fake - and you do the same.<br>Is there such a thing as a real laugh?  
>Yes.<br>I know there is.  
>I've laughed for real with you before.<br>Why?  
>Why would I ever be happy for real?<br>Oh, yeah.  
>You.<br>Beautiful, aren't you?  
>Evil, yes.<br>Insane, yes.  
>Beautiful, yes.<br>_**Hey.**_  
><em>Yes?<em>  
><em><strong>Are you all right?<strong>_  
><em>Why do you ask?<em>  
>I avoid answering.<br>I'm done lying.  
>To you anyway.<br>_**Why do I-look, you just asked if you existed. If that isn't some sort of sign I don't know what is.**_  
><em>Okay, fine. I'm not all right. But have I ever been all right, Bakura?<em>  
>Your name is nice.<br>Natural.  
>It feels right.<br>It brings me back to being myself for a moment.  
>You laugh for real.<br>It makes me want to cry and laugh and hug you and punch you all at once.  
>I want to scream.<br>You make me feel alive.  
>And then you make me feel gone again.<br>Did I hit my head on something?  
>What did bring this on?<br>Why am I thinking like this?  
><em>Bakura?<em>  
><em><strong>Yes?<strong>_  
><em>Why are people conscious? Why can't we just be automatic animals with no capacity for memory, like snakes?<em>  
><em><strong>I...don't know, Marik. Why are people conscious?<strong>_  
><em>I was asking you.<em>  
>In a way, I do wonder.<br>In another I don't.  
>I think that I'm alive so I can hear you say my name.<br>Is it as natural for you to say mine as it is for me to say yours?  
>Why does your voice bring me back to myself?<br>_Bakura?_  
><em><strong>What?<strong>_  
><em>Tell me something.<em>  
><em><strong>Tell you what?<strong>_  
><em>Anything. Just say something.<em>  
><em><strong>Why?<strong>_  
><em>Do I have to answer that?<em>  
><em><strong>Yes.<strong>_  
><em>And if I don't have a tangible answer?<em>  
><em><strong>Sorry.<strong>_  
><em>Please?<em>  
><em><strong>Okay, Marik.<strong>_  
>You say my name.<br>I feel warm.  
><em><strong>What the hell do you want to hear?<strong>_  
><em>Anything. Tell me a story about you.<em>  
><em><strong>Um...okay.<strong>_  
>You begin to speak, telling me tales of the Thief King and all the things he - you - did.<br>I feel so much safer.  
>So much more real.<br>I can hear your voice wavering.  
>You want to rest.<br>I know.  
>I'm sorry, Bakura.<br>Why do I like to hear your voice?  
>I don't care about the words; I've heard it all before.<br>I just want to hear your voice.  
>How do I feel about you?<br>I know I don't hate you.  
>Anymore.<br>What is it?  
>It's as strong as the hate was.<br>Maybe stronger.  
><em><strong>Marik? Are you awake?<strong>_  
><em>Yes. Of course I am.<em>  
><em><strong>I already told you most of these stories.<strong>_  
><em>Tell them again.<em>  
><em><strong>Why?<strong>_  
><em>I like them.<em>  
><em><strong>Last time I was telling them you said they were boring and you didn't care.<strong>_  
><em>I don't.<em>  
><em><strong>Don't what?<strong>_  
><em>Care.<em>  
><em><strong>Then why the bloody hell are you forcing me to tell them?<strong>_  
><em>Because I like to listen to you.<em>  
>Shit.<br>I said it.  
>I wonder what your reaction will be?<br>_**Um...**_  
><em>'Kura?<em>  
><em><strong>Yes? What is it this time?<strong>_  
>I kiss you.<br>Not uncommon.  
>Never so innocent, though.<br>_Thanks._  
><em>Goodnight.<em>  
><em><strong>Uh. Good...Night?<strong>_  
>I press my face into your chest and whisper what I just figured out.<br>I'll always wonder if you heard me, I think.  
>You'll never fess up to it.<br>That or never let me live it down.  
>I have no idea why I said it.<br>Illogical.  
>I shouldn't have.<br>I'm terrified now because I said it.  
><em>I love you.<em>  
>You're silent.<br>The quiet is peaceful, unlike before.  
>A long pause, and I start to think you fell asleep for once.<br>Then you whisper.  
>So quiet I can hardly hear you.<br>So quiet I may have imagined it.  
>I hope I didn't.<p>

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><p>AN again:Uhhh...Review please? IDK.


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